what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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