Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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