He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
