so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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