im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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