have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
