We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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