i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
