Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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