I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize