I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
