how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
