farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize