So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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