I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize