Your tits are I can't wait for
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
