I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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