it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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