just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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