I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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