So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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