On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
