i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
