kristin has been a bad kristin
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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