Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
