i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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