dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
