Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize