Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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