I wanna bring you to show and tell
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
