Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How's work?
Spinning.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
