I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
