You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
