she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
