My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Come on in and take your pants off
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