how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
