he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
