question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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