i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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