Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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