Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
