So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize