That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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