I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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