I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
