He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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