saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
