I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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