I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
