Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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