Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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