Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize