Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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