GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.