I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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