Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.