Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
