Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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